(THERE WILL BE MANY MORE POSTS AND MEMORIES ABOUT THIS TRIP). Hmmmm let's see what memory to tell you about first. Let's start with the fact that we were 16&17 and fell in love so quickly and were in New York together 6 months later, that's not a normal thing. But we did it, he met my best friends, people I adore and love. New York is my city and those are my people. Now whenever I go back; I see the buildings he liked, the stores we went to, places we ate, places we fought and it makes me so happy and so angry all at once. Obviously it's going to be sad to know that that is "over" but it's good to remember the memories. Funny story and secret, all of the memories were pretty much all fake. We broke up the night we got there because we saw something on my phone he was mad about, we fought (while being very very very drunk) in front of my mom screaming at the top of our lungs for about an hour and a half. We slept in different rooms because my mom said we needed to. I took a bunch of his alcohol and he came and took it back, he was in and out of the apartment for about an hour, on the phone telling his brother I think, he wanted to go home so back, he missed his senior spring break trip with all of his friends to come on this trip with me, and my mom (bless her soul) said she'd buy him a plane ticket home or to Dominican Republic to be on spring break with his friends. He didn't go, he didn't want to disappoint his parents, I mean they just spent so much money sending him on this trip. So we agreed to pretend for the next few days, I could go ON AND ON AND ON but if your reading abilities are anything like mine, your eyes and brain are tired right now
I convinced him to come to the barn with me, which is 45 min away, like I usually do on weekend nights when he sleeps over. I don't know what I did wrong but pretty much the whole time he wanted to kill me I think, he was rude, wouldnt tell me what was wrong, insisted I drop him off at a random gas station in the middle of no where and he'd find a ride, I did not listen, I dropped him off, and because I know him, I checked my phone and noticed he'd blocked me from being able to contact him in any way. I figured it out and we were back together again, like usual at the time
One morning, after one of our big fights, I got a text from him and was immediately very excited, until I read that his grandpa had past away. He held it in, very well, as well as you could expect someone to. He came over, so did my best friend. He started acting very weird, which happens often. He acts strange very often, since he was handling the death pretty well I was acting like everything was normal. He went into my bathroom and I heard some noise, I became very concerned, I heard him hit something. I had never seen him cry, but I heard someone crying very hard, I asked if I could come in, he didn't reply, I became worried and opened the door on my own, he was sitting down bawling his eyes out, my baby, the love of my life, so hurt. I just rubbed his back for a while and then I gave him the longest biggest hug and he just fell apart and fell apart into me. I've never seen someone fall apart like that, I felt his pain and misery. I just held him as tight as I could and told him I was so sorry and that it would be okay. I don't care how it sounds, but this was one of the best moments for us, together as a pair, I truly saw his emotions open up. I felt his heart spill into mine. I was honored and thankful to be the person who got to hold him that night. I always will be, and I will always be there to hold him, not sure I'll ever get the chance again but I'm here if he needs me.